This afternoon I had lunch with my uncle and his family, and my grandparents. I really love my grans I don't want to disappoint them so I ate tiny bits of lunch and tried to avoid pork. I ate and I didn't want to feel guilty just for the sake of my day out with them. I have been busy with myself in these past few months and I really want to make today the best of their days with me.
Then my aunt looked at me like I'm something weird, or looking weird. And I asked her and she said I'm too skinny. I obviously said I'm not skinny enough, I need to lose 5 more pounds and my younger brother told me I have a mental illness. I took it as a joke in front of them but seriously?
I know I have an eating disorder but who the fuck cares? As long as I'm still skinny then I'd be happy. I just weighed myself after I had my shower and after eating like quarter a tall pack of Snappy popcorn and like 2 handfuls of shelled peanuts and I'm happy with the result.
As I've mentioned before I've been fasting for 2 days, not in a row, but yeah, and I tried to eat in smaller portions today and avoid heavy loads like meat, and I weigh 121.5 pounds. So I guess my normal weight if I didn't eat should be around 120.5 or 121 pounds at least.
I haven't bought myself the shoes but soon I will. And I guess I'm just going to choose basketball shoes instead, since my old ones are dying. My budget is around 40 bucks and I think it's going to be worth it for a 6 month use. After that, I'll be free from the practices. Fun.
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