Basically, I ruined my diet today. Fuck it. I hate myself. I feel like these french fries are gonna turn to fat overnight, and it will be dead hard to burn it off. It's like once I start eating, I can't stop. Fuck. Why did I even have to start eating a bite in the first place?
Such a failure. I've been good until school was over but then the Student Council Organization held a Christmas Celebration for Ground Staff. It was a huge success, I have to admit. But a huge failure to me. I ate like 50 sticks of french fries with 245 calories in total.
So my total calorie intake for today is 483 calories, with light exercises around 238 calories. I honestly don't care how much is the net calorie or how much I exercise. I only care about my intake. It has to be less than 300. I ruined it. I'm such a fat faggot. Look at the mirror and all I see is fat.
I don't know if it's a blessing or what, I can never purge. Regardless how much I eat or drink, I can never purge. I did take laxatives, but I realized it has done quite nothing for me but the constipation relieve that can actually lead to prolonged constipation problem. Trying to hold your hunger is way easier and more effective than using laxatives.
Okay. An update. Fuck. I'm eating 2 pieces of this traditional pie. I can't stop now because it's literally my last chance to eat today. And tomorrow. And possibly the day after. I raised my calorie intake to 585 for the day. Fuck my life. Fast tomorrow.
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